


You Asked Me Once

by LadyBrooke



Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Angst, Gen, Letter, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-17
Updated: 2012-06-17
Packaged: 2017-11-08 00:07:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/436927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyBrooke/pseuds/LadyBrooke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In Valinor, a reborn Fingon writes one last letter to Turgon.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Asked Me Once

_Dear Turukáno,_

_You asked me once why I devoted myself to Matimo, brother. The answer is that I could do nothing different. Matimo was so vibrant and alive, and I was lonely. It is the curse of loving a son of Feanor, that though they will love you, that love comes with the knowledge that the same fire that burned in their father will, if given the chance, consume their lovers. You saw how Nerdanel was unable to cope._

_I thought that I would be different. And I suppose, in a way, I am. Nerdanel is still living, and she will continue to do so. But she has cut herself entirely from her former love. She does not care for him anymore. I am not strong enough to do the same._

_You shall, I suppose, find my body one of these days. I don’t intend to kill myself, Turukáno, but the fire will not leave me alone. It calls to me, and I am so cold these days. I wish Lord Namo had never released me from his halls. It would have been easier on all of you to leave me in there, so that you didn’t have to watch me waste away._

_I am sorry for how things must be. With any luck, you shall not discover this letter until after I am gone. It is sitting in my desk, waiting for the day that happens. When it does – when, and not if – you shall have to be the strong one. Keep Atar and Amil away from my body if it looks too bad. Írissë, her family, and Arakáno will need your support as well. It is a lot to ask of you, and I’m sorry._

_As always, your loving brother,  
Findekáno_

_P.S. – I am writing this post script a few weeks after the rest of this letter. I am colder than ever, and I doubt that I will be able to survive this much longer. I know it is all in my head, and that I should be stronger, but the fire reminds me so much of Matimo. Yesterday, I managed to make it so that it was the same color as his hair. It was so lovely, and wonderful, and everything I remembered about him. And then it died, and all I could remember was those long nights on the Ice. I can’t withstand the Ice again. Tonight, I shall surround myself in that glorious red once more. I think I will finally be warm again._


End file.
